Here's a surprising twist...

Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love it here. I love Israel and I love Tel Aviv. But perhaps I'm just a little too sleep-deprived and therefore a little bit of a cranky pants tonight.

So without further ado, here is my top 5 countdown list of things I don't love about Tel Aviv...

5. The dog poo everywhere
People in this city love dogs. I mean, they go bonkers for them. This is a city with a distinct lack of parks and green areas and backyards. So the dogs have to get taken out from time to time. I get that. But the people in this town have an aversion to cleaning up after their dogs. This means that it's near impossible to walk with your head up. It is imperative that you walk around Tel Aviv with your head down just so you can avoid the land mines. It's not pleasant, I know, but do everyone a favour and take a plastic bag with you, will ya?

4. The cats
It's freakish how many cats there are in this city. It's kinda sad, because they're all homeless and they look feral and some are missing tails or ears. But they're disgusting. It's not just their numbers that I find a problem, it's the literal cat fights that go on that we can hear from our apartments. All day, all night. Oh, and also the ever present smell of cat piss. On the upside, I've managed to only bump into one rat (in the shuk at night) so the cats must be doing something right.

3. The massive cockroaches
I'm not a fan of creep-crawlies at the best of times, so the fact that on the pavements (sidewalk for the Americans) of Tel Aviv you can find crawling the biggest cockroaches you've ever seen in your life is horrifying. Quite possibly the scariest thing I've encountered in my time here thus far.

2. The noise pollution
If the sounds of the cats screaming and fighting with each other wasn't bad enough, there is also the music from the music school downstairs that we have to contend with. Emphasis on the word school. These guys are still students and while I'm all for supporting the arts, I don't have to support them at 1am. Plus the fact that we live under a direct flight path for Ben Gurion airport (it's a little reminiscent of The Castle - fast forward to 20 seconds). Along with the balagan that is the car horn. Wow, Tel Avivians have fully surrendered their right to own a car that comes with a car horn. Sheket bevakasha!

And drumroll for number 1...

1. The use of the general public area as a toilet
Now I know that it's infuriating to have to pay a shekel to use a public toilet, but please Tel Aviv, your multitude of cafes and restaurants also have restroom facilities and they do not mind if you use them. I've seen grown men - I'm not even talking about teenagers - pee in full view. I'm talking about a sherut driver, pulling over his cab in the middle of the day to park on the sidewalk (another grievance but luckily I don't drive here) and urinate in a bush in the middle of the street! And the scary thing is that that is not even the most disturbing example of public urination that I have been witness to. So please Tel Avivians, I'm begging you, please stop treating your city like a urinal. The world is your oyster, not your toilet!

Please feel free to add your pet peeves (sorry, couldn't resist) about Tel Aviv.